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Self-image is far more than how we see ourselves,
and how we believe others see us. Self-image dictates who we are, what we do, how we behave and more importantly how we feel.
These
‘how we feel’ feelings is our self-esteem. Self-esteem and self-image are inextricably linked and can be confused.
But the rule seems to be that self-image is how we see ourselves. Self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves based upon our
perceived self-image. Which is itself based upon how we translate the feedback from others going right back through our growth
to our earliest memories,
Our
species appears to consist of people emotionally damaging people. So, we have people who are escaping from emotional damage
Others who are trying to avoid any further emotional damage, Some who want to
be emotionally damaged and others who want to emotionally damage others. The rest of us are too damaged to talk about it.
We can easily find ourselves surrounded, on a daily basis, by cynics, critics,
bullies and assorted damaged people who have only one aim in life -to inflict maximum misery upon the rest of us .The way
we see ourselves is (to a large degree) in their hands.
Every
time we are snubbed, shunned, insulted, mocked, smeared at it hurts. It is humiliating and cruel. Even when negative comments
are disguised as humour, it still hurts, We have a tendency to ‘store up’ embarrassing events and damaging comments running them over in our minds - time and time again. Without realizing it we are unconsciously
reinforcing these negative views of ourselves.
If
we can somehow replace negative self-talk with positive self-talk we're willing to let ourselves accept ourselves.
What is self-esteem?
Given that Low self-esteem usually involves feelings of helplessness,
powerlessness and even depression. Self-esteem is said to mean that we appreciate ourselves and value our personal worth as
much as we view others.
Self-esteem requires us to have a positive attitude and value
ourselves and our abilities. In short, we must learn to appreciate ourselves and be in control of our own lives. This
way being able to do the things that we choose to do - instead of doing what others want us to do.
Our self-esteem
begins to form when we are children, it develops with us and affects all of our decisions throughout our lives. It defines
who we are and what we are capable of. If we see ourself as bad, weak, guilty, ashamed, inadequate or a failure you will begin
to believe that is what you actually are. Consequently, that is what you will become.
It
also defines our belief in our own ability to make appropriate decisions, especially when those important to us disagree.
When
successful we can all enjoy the benefits of high self-esteem. High self-esteem can also provide us with a cushion when encountering
rejections, disappointments, failure and the knock-backs which are a part of daily life. The times when our best efforts just
aren’t good enough. At such times high self esteem can help us to overcome these experiences. In short, self esteem
‘empowers’ us and helps us battle self-defeating and socially unacceptable behaviour.
High
self-esteem is personal effectiveness. It requires us to compare ourselves favourably with other people.
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